We live in a world that constantly pushes us to give, achieve, and serve others, so it’s easy to forget one fundamental truth: All good things start with us. The positivity we share, the impact we make, and the joy we bring to those around us stem from how well we care for ourselves. If we want to encourage and even teach others, we must first raise our self-awareness, nurture our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, and cultivate inner stability and calmness.
You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
Have you ever tried to help a friend while feeling completely drained? Or attempted to be patient with loved ones when you’re running on exhaustion? It doesn’t work well, does it? That’s because you can’t pour from an empty cup. The best version of you—the one that gives with love, supports with strength, and leads with wisdom—can only exist when you take care of yourself first.
Personally, I need solitude to rejuvenate and rebuild. I know this about myself. If I run too much without taking time for myself every so often, I can feel my inner tank running out of fuel. Things that typically don’t bother me do, and I lead with impatience and even irritability rather than grace and compassion.
We must realize that prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish and isn’t something to feel guilty about; it’s essential. For example, I don’t feel guilty when I acknowledge that I need a little alone time because I know it is a factor in my personal formula for success. It contributes to my “Hero State,” also known as the best version of me. When you nurture your mind, body, and soul, you radiate energy that naturally inspires and elevates those around you.
Raising Self-Awareness: The Key to Growth
When I say “self-care,” I am not talking about spa days and relaxation. There is obviously nothing wrong with these types of days, and I enjoy them as often as I can, but I am referring to something deeper. It’s self-awareness that is a game changer and the ultimate way to care for ourselves.
The more we understand ourselves, the better we can navigate life’s challenges, set boundaries, maintain emotional balance, and achieve emotional regulation. In addition, the more we understand ourselves, the better we can truly take care of ourselves and then take care of others.
Here’s how you can cultivate deeper self-awareness:
- Reflect Daily: Spend time journaling, praying, and/or meditating to process your emotions and thoughts.
- Listen to Your Body: Your body sends signals when it needs rest, nourishment, or movement—tune in.
- Notice Your Triggers: Recognizing what upsets or stresses you helps you respond rather than react. Work to be more proactive than reactive. This is often a process.
- Stop Making Excuses: Excuses and/or validation in the moment may seem like a form of self-grace, but they are actually self-sabotage and keep you stuck. Stop the excuses and instead take action.
- Seek Growth: Read, learn, and challenge yourself to break old patterns and embrace new perspectives. Often, the key to self-growth is shifting the way we see things.
- Define Your Authentic Why: All lasting self-change must include a strong “why” or strong source of motivation. This is one of the first things I ask clients when they come to me for coaching. What’s your why for wanting to change? If you don’t know it, then it’s time to figure it out. Long-lasting growth and change will not be met without this factor.
Self-Awareness Defined
I think “self-awareness” is sometimes thrown around loosely in our conversations: “Be more self-aware,” “Increase your self-awareness,” or “The key to happiness is self-awareness.” To me, it’s much more than all of this.
It really boils down to the story you are telling yourself every day. In other words, what is your inner narrative or inner dialogue talking about all day long? That’s an interesting thing to reflect upon, right?
Whether we consciously think about it or not, we all live with a voice inside of us, and often, this voice doesn’t say very nice or very positive things to us. We tend to live so much on autopilot that instead of reframing the voice, we just get used to hearing it and don’t realize the negative impact it has on us over time.
So, true self-awareness is waking up to the kind of story we are listening to each day, and if it’s not a healthy one, it’s our responsibility to change it! You cannot and will not serve others, help others, and/or influence others in the way you want to if you are listening to an unhealthy inner story all the time.
If your mindset is in the tank, then tune into that inner voice that is contributing to it and change it.
Embrace the Journey
Realizing that all good things start with you is empowering and liberating, and in all honesty, it can be daunting and overwhelming. We can look at ourselves and think, “Yikes, there is so much to improve!” But remember this.
You don’t need to fix everything around you. You don’t need to save the world- just start within. Love yourself, take care of your mind and body, and stay present in your own growth.
The more you align with your best self, the more you naturally uplift those around you. As you grow, heal, and evolve, by default, others will take notice. They’ll want what you have, and you’ll be equipped to share.
So today, take a deep breath and remind yourself: I am worthy of care. I am responsible for my energy. And by taking care of myself, I make the world a better place.
Because all good things truly do start with you. 😊